i forgot my phone

no, i do not care that my profile picture is off-center. what you get is what you get

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i am planning saving up to be able to press my debut album in an edition of 200 or so CDs, however there’s just one issue for when/if that happens.

i have never shipped anything across my neighborhood, let alone overseas, however i still know that there are people that would want physical copies of my stuff but live in different countries. uhhh…

i do want to eventually go through with it but this is kind of the main roadblock that i have to deal with: i don’t really want people knowing my address and so i don’t really want to know yours either. therefore both ends would have to set up a p.o. box, which would just be even more work and mind you, nothing i’ve said so far is even mentioning all the extensive paperwork i would have to sign to be able to send stuff across the world. but on the bright side, neither end would know the other’s address.

i’m sorry, i just don’t know what to do.

…

i already know nobody will see this but me, so…

i have wanted to commit suicide pretty much 24/7 for the last year and a half.

through that course i have attempted to do it countless times.

i’m too scared to talk with a therapist about it.

i’m too scared to talk with anyone i know in real life about it.

i honestly don’t think it’ll help me anyways.

i feel completely worthless.

absolutely nobody’s been there to talk to me.

if that’s the case i wonder why anyone would see this.

honestly just writing this makes me feel like i’m worthless…

...like nobody cares for me.

...like the world wants to pretend i never existed.

...maybe to remind me of the nothing that i really am.

i don’t know if i’ll be alive in the next month.

i’m just keeping this here so people can remember just how worthless i am.

when black eyes make those picture-consummate faces it's too perfect. years of broken ribs come and gone, scarlet-grey clouds engulfing me in pools of glass shards, and brazen lips surround me in ways i never thought possible. constrict me so tight that i can’t breathe through my already broken lungs. wrap my arms around me to find my way before the rest so i never set foot in the past, so i can dance again in that swarm of syringes that reckless motions could never hope to bring. i only have this jagged ring piercing to offer. a mantelpiece, a flashback to a time i can’t look back on again. take it, it’s yours. i’ve already been obliterated beyond repair so i could use something to set myself equal.

haven’t posted anything on here in forever LMAO i’ll get to it maybe i’m just way more active on twitter

people i promise i will post more stuff here okay I PROMISE

blasterdition

people i am sorry for my inactivity here, it’s just hard to be active on one site when you have a thousand other social medias